Mastery begins with understanding who one is and where one wants to go. Maybe the most important idea in this book is that Leadership is who we are - not just what we do. Knowing who we are, who we want to be, and how we want to make a difference is the first step to mastery of any area.

During a recent trip to Paris, I enjoyed an insight I thought was meaningful. On previous trips to the City of Lights, I remained in the usual tourist areas: Île  de la Cité, Montmartre, Le Marais, etc. I had seen tall modern buildings to the north of the city, but I had no desire to see them. I wanted to enjoy my image of Victor Hugo’s “best of times” without, of course, the barricades. I wanted the reassurance of the wide boulevards, the museums, the architectures and the markets.

In 2008, because we participated in a home exchange and stayed in Courbevoie, a suburb of the city, we visited the area called La Defense, which is that modern section of the city I thought I wanted to avoid. I emerged from the metro stop to see tall buildings and modern sculptures. I found energy there that was very different to the tourist areas I had seen before. The buildings, stores and the people working in them could have been in Chicago or New York.

After a short time, I reluctantly realized that I knew Paris better. I had seen parts of the city that I did not previously care to see, but seeing them gave me a better understanding of a place I thought I knew well. I saw that this area was as much a part of Paris as the tourist sites I had seen on the hop on- hop off- bus tours or boat trips on the Seine.

This realization made me think of human relationships, which are also limited to seeing only certain parts of a personality. I thought of a friend and colleague I had known for years. Each of us remained completely professional through many years of working together. We said the right things and behaved as we thought appropriate. We were careful not to make disparaging or flip comments even when we were thinking them, and rarely showed a lighter side.

When we began working together more closely and felt more comfortable being ourselves, we laughed more, and we began expressing more of our less serious assessments. We felt freer to make flip comments or voice concerns we would previously have kept to ourselves. I found that I enjoyed being with this co-worker much more, and I thought I knew him better. In the end, we worked together more effectively.

Carrying this a step further, I believe it is important to look at parts of ourselves we may want to see. Being open to all parts of self and others brings one closer to Mastery. It also requires being authentic and possessing a deep curiosity and desire to understand. Mastery means making the important connections using many of the skills I have described in this book.